Have I always wanted to be a blogger? Maybe somewhere deep down.
Have I always wanted to be the centre of attention and be able to talk about myself for large periods of time?
Almost certainly.
I'm not sure I recognised or realised it until recently, but I'm relatively narcissistic in nature, and when I don't receive the attention I crave, I become bothersome and a bit of a grouch to be around.
This has been a bit of a tough pill to swallow, but it's also taught me that working with some difficult boundaries can also really pay off. It's not really anyone's fault - but now I find myself continuing to learn this lesson again and again. Ever have that feeling you're not doing enough? Even while knowing you're putting a lot on your own plate? You're meeting all your responsibilities and obligations, you're even putting in a little extra work to help yourself complete that little side project you're working on. But you still feel it's not enough. You blame yourself for not meeting the deadline you set yourself. For procrastinating. For not being good enough. Well I'm sick of hearing that come out of my own vocabulary - WHO says you're not good enough? Fak that, we're all capable, plain and simple. I need to start helping myself remember and believe that as much as the next person. That’s why I’m gonna start writing these posts when I feel like it. And put stuff up on here when I feel like it. What the hell - why not? 😈
Comments